I don't want to talk
by moonswirl
Summary: Gleekathon, day one hundred and fourteen: VALENTINES #9 After the disappointment with Rod, Sue thinks back to her one true love.


Started my daily ficlets to make the hiatus pass, then decided to keep going with a second cycle, and then a third, fourth, and fifty cycle. Now here's cycle 6!

Valentine's Day is coming, of course I couldn't ignore it! So I picked ten couples (some with OC characters) and set them for a love fest! :D Then on Valentine's Day, a group story! (not that kind of group, minds out of the gutter!) *cough* Anyhoo...  
**Valentine for the Gleeks, 9 of 11: Sue & Joe (OC)**

* * *

**"I don't want to talk"  
Sue/Joe (OC)**

She usually only ever felt like this on special occasions, like Valentine's Day… but they were months away from it still. Yet as she returned to her office, having torn Schuester a new one and kicked Quinn Fabray off the Cheerios, she sat in her chair, and there her mind drifted, and it went right to him…

She remembered the day she met him. She was just a few weeks into her first year of teaching. She wasn't yet the Sue Sylvester the world would come to know and fear. She had the drive, she had the will, but she channelled them differently. She also had a dog.

She'd woken up at three in the morning, seeking a glass of water and finding on the way that poor Ruby was looking unwell. Ruby was the only living being in her life beside her sister, and she wasn't going to let her down. So she'd wrapped her in a blanket, carried her into the backseat of her car and drove like a mad woman to the clinic. Despite the hour, the waiting room was fairly populated. She sat with Ruby until the sun came up before the receptionist called her in. She hadn't slept, she was hungry… she was ready to bite out this doctor who had let her poor dog sit miserably for hours. She was going to give him a piece of her mind, look him in the eye…

His eyes were blue… kind… He had that easy going air about him… and from the moment she met him, she was enthralled.

He took care of Ruby, nursed her back to health… and asked Sue out. He explained how he always worked the night shift, and he'd hate to think that Ruby would need to fall suddenly ill again for him to see her owner.

They went on one daze, but then didn't see each other again for two months. It wasn't that she didn't like Joe… He made her so happy… she wanted to protect this, and it somehow translated in not returning his calls. It seemed silly, but it made sense to her at the time.

When they saw each other again, it was by chance… and he wasn't alone. Evidently he hadn't waited for her, and he'd moved on. He had a girlfriend. She didn't see him again for another six months.

Ruby had been sick again. She took her into the clinic one afternoon, and there it was… blue kindness. He'd switched to the day shift – something he'd later tell her he'd done so to have the chance to see her again. He was single again, and wanted another shot with her, a real one. She had missed him…

After that, their relationship truly kicked off. Joe really was a good guy, it seemed, and when she was with him, she was someone else, someone better, maybe…

Sitting in her office, she got up, looking out the window, looking down… But it hadn't lasted, had it… of course not. It just couldn't be that easy. In the stillness of the office, the faint song in her only got stronger as she thought back on the inevitable end of her story with Joe.

"_I don't want to talk / About things we've gone through / Though it's hurting me / Now it's history / I've played all my cards / And that's what you've done too / Nothing more to say / No more ace to play"_

There was happiness… lots of it. Nurtured in all this love, she ran that much more of a chance to be torn apart if it should ever be taken from her. But she was deep in it now, no turning back. This lasted them for somewhere over two years.

"_The winner takes it all / The loser standing small / Beside the victory / That's her destiny"_

Having him in her life, he became the willing ear to her work frustrations, and the start of her shift toward who she would become. So long as she had him though, it was contained.

"_I was in your arms / Thinking I belonged there / I figured it made sense / Building me a fence / Building me a home / Thinking I'd be strong there / But I was a fool / Playing by the rules"_

And then Ruby died. It became a sore point with them… Joe hadn't been able to save her, the one friend she'd had for so long. And she seemed to care more for that loss than for Joe himself. It wasn't true, of course, but the idea was planted, and it was enough to create the first crack.

"_The gods may throw the dice / Their minds as cold as ice / And someone way down here / Loses someone dear / The winner takes it all / The loser has to fall / It's simple and it's plain / Why should I complain."_

Between no more Ruby and a surly Joe, it made for a Sue who wasn't attentive to certain things and too attentive to others. So she dedicated herself to her work, but she didn't see… Joe was pulling away from her.

"_Tell me does she kiss / Like I used to kiss you? / Does it feel the same / When she calls your name? / Somewhere deep inside / You must know I miss you / But what can I say / Rules must be obeyed"_

And then one day she came home to find him piling boxes in the back of his truck. He was leaving… leaving her. She tried to talk him out of it, to reconsider. In some part of her she knew she wouldn't succeed, but she had to try.

That was when he said the words which brought her crashing back down to reality: he'd met someone else.

This couldn't be him… no, her Joe wouldn't do that, he wouldn't…

"_The judges will decide / The likes of me abide / Spectators of the show / Always staying low / The game is on again / A lover or a friend / A big thing or a small / The winner takes it all"_

He left, and he took most of her heart with him. After that, a new Sue Sylvester emerged, and she didn't look back… most of the time.

She saw him again, once or twice… she would see him sometimes, but she'd move off before he saw her too. He was just as handsome as the day they'd met, and even after what had happened, after the years, she wondered what would happen if she was subjected to the power he'd had over her.

The first time they did meet again, face to face, was about nine years after he'd left. He was with his wife – the 'someone else' he'd met – and he tried to play the 'it's good to see you again' card, but she brushed him off.

A few days after that, he'd shown up at school. She'd tried to send him away, but he wanted to say his part anyway.

He told her he was sorry for the way things had ended. He told her he'd thought of trying to patch things up with her for a while, but that he'd wasted his chance with her and he didn't want to cause her more pain. And he told her he'd missed her.

As he'd turned to leave, she'd called his name. He turned to face her again, and she stared at him in silence. There were things she wanted to tell him, there really were… but she couldn't. So she'd told him to never mind, and she watched him go.

"_I don't want to talk / 'Cause it makes me feel sad / And I understand / You've come to shake my hand / I apologize / If it makes you feel bad / Seeing me so tense / No self-confidence / But you see / The winner takes it all_

_The winner takes it all..."_

It was the first time she'd really put herself out there, since Joe, when she went after Rod. She should have known better, that was what she told herself. She couldn't rebuild what her break with Joe had taken. There was too much to it, things she could never explain to anyone but herself.

She wasn't going to let this tear her down, not again. She'd get back to the things that mattered, things she could control. She wouldn't rest on those blue eyes, even if they just seemed to keep following her everywhere.

THE END


End file.
